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More places to find me

I have expanded the places in which you can find my random mutterings, musings and meanderings.  I had no solid reason for doing this aside from the boredom that comes with waiting for a book release and a dearth of new things to write.  (I am researching for the third Immortal book right now. Nobody panic.)  (Okay, panic a little. I have no idea what the plot for it is yet.)

If you’re a long-time follower of this blog you already know you can find me on Twitter and Facebook and GoodReads.  This is all still true, and coming soon there will be an author page on Facebook and a bio page on the publisher’s page.

And now there is Tumblr

I cannot explain to you in any adequate way what Tumblr is, because for whatever reason when one tries to do so one ends up with an explanation that makes it sound like a stupid thing.  It is not a stupid thing.  it just defies explanation.

Here’s a try: take a hosted blogging site like this one (i.e., WordPress), throw in the streaming immediacy of Twitter, add gifs and photos (and porn) and… well, almost.

Anyway.  I exist as a Tumblr blogger in three places:

The Incredibly Unnecessary Gene Doucette Tumblr

The Urban Cyclist

Very Fake Headlines

Additionally, Adam the immortal has his own Tumblr.  It’s not much in use right now– it will be used for quotations and words of wisdom– but will pick up once we’re closer to the publishing dates of his two books.

Words of Wisdom from Adam the Immortal

Feel free to read or not, share or not share, follow or not follow.  Tumblr doesn’t actually record page hits– popularity is measured by “likes” and “reblogging”– so I won’t know unless you also feel like joining Tumblr.  Which I recommend.  Especially if you have a lot of free time you’re looking to get rid of.

On the road to NYC

I am packed. I am ready. I am terrified.

I am on my way to NYC shortly (by bus) and will be spending all day Saturday at The New Yorker Hotel to attend the Indie Book Event as part of my continuing effort to convince all of you to read Immortal.

I am hoping to tweet periodically and/or post updates to Facebook, so if you follow me in either of those places you can keep up-to-date.  Here’s hoping I can be charming for the next 36 hours…

Brain dump

A funny thing happened to me after I finished writing Hellenic Immortal: my brain stopped working.

Oh, it’s not like it’s actually fully non-functional, but it’s tired.  Really, very deeply tired.  In fairness, it’s been running non-stop between the promoting of Immortal, the rewrites, and some screenwriting stuff I can’t talk too much about right now.  It can use a break.

Much to do

I’m currently trying not to feel guilty about this lack of activity.  I have a ton of stuff to take care, including:

  • prepping for a convention at the end of July
  • rewriting Fixer, a novel you currently know nothing about but which has a deal pending
  • figuring out how the hell to sell my award-winning feature screenplay Charlatan, possibly by…
  • getting an agent
  • editing, and then either self-publishing or submitting Sapphire Blue, an erotic novella I wrote a year or two ago which I may or may not put out under a pseudonym
  • starting work on the terribly self-indulgent new novel bouncing around in my head
  • continuing the research for the third Immortal book
  • creating an author page for myself on Facebook
Instead…
And I’m not doing any of these things.  Here’s what I’m doing instead:
My apologies
So just on the off-chance you’ve been sitting around– on Twitter, or Facebook, or wherever you usually finds me– and wondering where the hell I am, I’m on a mental vacation.  I have no apparent control over this vacation, but I can’t imagine it will last forever.
I have too much to do.

Birthday wishes

“I don’t want everything.  Where would I put it?”

Stephen Wright

As today is my birthday, I have decided to be obnoxious, which I admit is not a large step for me but here it goes.

Read Immortal

That’s what I want from you, on this, the occasion of my forty-third birthday.  I would like for you to go out and find my novel Immortal through whatever means you have at your disposal, and read it, and enjoy it, and then tell people about it.

“My god,” you’re thinking, “He wasn’t kidding.  That’s obnoxious!”  I agree!  But I get to be obnoxious on my birthday.

But really?

Yes, really!  Look, it’s a great book.  It’s been out for nearly eight months now and has collected exactly zero negative reviews.  Look here, at the blog tour page, and read for yourself.  See?  And it’s not like these are all coming from friends and family, because my family isn’t that large and I don’t have that many friends.

If that doesn’t work for you, look at the Goodreads page.  That’s thirty-five ratings for a 4.43 average out of a possible 5.  Or look at the seven five-star Amazon reviews.

Still not enough?  Read the sample chapter first.  Or if you want, read the teaser for the second book.

Dude, really, this is annoying

I don’t care!  And I’m still going!

The book costs $14.95 in print (at Amazon) or $9.99 as an e-book (everywhere e-books are sold) and it’s absolutely worth it.

Ask anyone who’s already read it!  In fact, if you are one of those people who has already read it, go ahead and say so in the comments.

As of this moment I have 1,187 followers on Twitter and 672 friends on Facebook.  If half of those numbers bought Immortal today it would jump to the top 100 in best sellers on every online retailer, and by this time next month I might be negotiating a wider distribution deal, which is what I really want for my birthday.

You don’t really think this will work, do you?

Shut up, imaginary inquisitor!  It’s my birthday!

Also?  I want a pony.

If you can’t give bad advice, what’s the point of giving any advice at all?

Daughter Becky has a friend who is on her way to Paris for a semester abroad.  On Facebook, she was tasked with drafting a “bucket list” of things her friend had to do while she was there.  Perhaps foolishly, she asked me for advice on the list.  Herewith, my twenty suggestions, none of which were used.

  1. Get in a situation that requires you be rescued by Liam Neeson.
  2. Tip over the Eiffel Tower.
  3. Visit Cannes. (The only genuine suggestion here.)
  4. Smother an elderly woman with a beret.
  5. Go to a nice restaurant and order french fries and french toast, loudly and with great confidence.
  6. Assault a gendarme with a baguette.
  7. Stalk Jean Reno.
  8. Find a polite Frenchman.
  9. Send me Laetitia Casta.
  10. Hand out deodorant to random strangers.
  11. Check out the Mona Lisa and complain that you liked the 3D version better.  (Bonus: wear 3D glasses while looking at it.)
  12. When you get off the plane, shout, “dammit, I was supposed to be going to Paris Texas!”
  13. Find a bidet in a public restroom. Wash your hands in it when someone’s looking. (Optional: pretend it’s a drinking fountain.)
  14. When people speak French to you, step back and look down. When they ask what you’re doing, tell them you’re reading the subtitles.
  15. Storm the beach at Normandy. (Optional: or sky-dive into the countryside)
  16. Speak English with a heavy French accent and pretend that’s exactly the same thing as speaking French.
  17. Sing “Deutchland Uber Alles” in a crowded bar.
  18. Ball up a sweater under the back of your shirt.  Apply for a job at Notre Dame Cathedral.
  19. Watch an English language film subtitled into French.  Laugh in all the wrong places.
  20. Insist the guy on the 50 Franc note is Rowan Atkinson.

It has been quite a year

I have a bad habit of focusing on things that haven’t happened yet rather than stepping back and looking behind me at what has been accomplished.  This tunnel vision quality is sometimes very useful, such as when I’m writing a novel, but maybe less useful in other settings, such as networking events.

So rather than concentrate on what still needs to be done– and since Immortal isn’t in brick-and-mortar bookstores yet or on any electronic device other than the Kindle, there’s a pile of screenplay work needing doing and two other novels to edit, this is a long list– I’d like to take a minute to look back on where we started.

A year ago at this time

This time last year, I had a publisher who did not yet officially exist.  I had barely succeeded in wriggling out of another contract to publish Immortal with a klepto-publisher that is thankfully no longer an entity.

I was not on Twitter.  I was not on GoodReads.  This blog did not exist.  (I was on Facebook, but that’s legally mandated nowadays.)

I had no idea how to get reviews for Immortal much less who to talk to for blurbs.  I didn’t even know what genre it was.

In other words

So it’s been a pretty good year, really.  And my impatience with the fact that I am not yet a world-famous author with a movie deal and a yacht (okay, not a yacht) shouldn’t overshadow the fact that the person I was a year ago would be kicking the 2010 version of my ass for worrying about current sales and distribution outlets whether there is such a thing as too much promoting.

So HAPPY NEW YEAR

And may next year be as fruitful as this one was.

And hopefully more profitable.

(Okay, let me have THAT complaint at least.)

Leading horses to water

Promoting a novel can be extremely challenging, and in ways that are different from promoting a website or a toy or a machine that goes *ping* at regular intervals.  Novels are subjectively enjoyable, frequently disappointing, and an unavoidable commitment. Nobody wants to get stuck reading a bad one, or worse, having to tell the person who wrote it that they thought it was bad.

Despite that, if I know you, I will continue to expect you to buy my novel and read it.  Why?

  • From my perspective: it’s very good; you will be sharing something that came from me and is important to me; you will tell other people.
  • From your perspective: the odds that you know a novelist that is actually very good at novel-writing are small, while the odds that the person you know is overstating the quality because of an unavoidable bias are rather high; in buying it you’re being nice, but you’re not expecting much.

Here, then, is the Catch-22: I know what your perspective is because it’s my perspective with most of the people I know who are also writers, yet I have to continue to promote the book to you and to everyone else I know, because it’s all I have. Yet the more I promote it, the more I confirm your concerns, even if unconsciously: he’s selling it to his friends because nobody else is buying it. Because it isn’t good.

Creative ways to keep it in front of you

Since Immortal debuted I have spent a lot of time posting links to: my blog; the Amazon sales page; the Smashwords sales page; and various press releases and reviews, and I have been doing this on what I would call a highly regular basis.  These links go up on Twitter and are cross-posted to Facebook (when I don’t post them directly to Facebook) and are not without their detractors.  ”Stop spamming me, your links are taking up my whole page,” I have heard.  And that was from my wife.

At first, I just posted straightforward tweets, like “Read Immortal” which is dull, but essentially informative.  The problem is you post enough of those and you may as well be a spambot offering a thicker penis.  (Incidentally, if you read Immortal you will have a thicker penis.)  So I write creative tweets, or funny tweets, or odd tweets.  I have touted the book as a potential murder weapon; I have declared that not buying it means the terrorists win; I have implored buyers to get it because it simply doesn’t suck.  I wrote a hostage letter tweet once announcing that you had to buy it “or the kitten dies.”

You get the idea.  I am mindful that the people following my twitter feed and my facebook page are not just there to hear me repeatedly beg them to spend money on me all day, every day.  But I have to continue to promote the book, so I try to keep the promotional tweets as entertaining as I can.

Sometimes, I ask other people to help me promote, and their approach is much the same.  Which is how I ended up fielding an interesting complaint this morning about the scurrilous nature of some of the promotional tweets.  Because to catch someone’s eye and get a sales tweet re-tweeted, you have to write something interesting and retweet-able.  (Read comment and replies here.)

But why keep doing it?

You may argue that yes, you are aware of the book, and yes, you intend to buy it at some time but no, you really don’t want to keep hearing about it.  I understand.  But appreciate that to sell something effectively, the name of that something has to be introduced to someone more than once.  Especially with novels, where the “I’ve heard of that book; how was it?” factor is incredibly significant.

The buzz has to start somewhere.  I have to convince people I know to read something so that they can convince people I don’t know to read it.  And the only way I have to make sure the people I know get themselves a copy is to put it in front of their eyes on a semi-regular basis.  Both Twitter and Facebook have scrolling status/update screens, so sometimes making sure Immortal is in front of everyone means a new tweet/post a few times a day.

Is it annoying?  It can be.  That’s why the tweets are usually different, and usually tongue-in-cheek.

The month in summary

It has been quite a good month for Immortal, the little novel that could, but only after six years of couldn’t.  On penalty of death, I can’t mention specific sales numbers, but if you count both the books bought through Amazon and from my personal supply… well, we did okay.

And now we’re in the dead zone.

The dead zone

I was expecting this.  Once the friends, family, acquaintances, launch party attendees, fellow writers and coworkers all got their copies, sales would have to rely on the terrifying Everyone Else.  People, in other words, that I don’t know, have never spoken to, and don’t know me.  Some of the Everyone Else certainly DID buy a copy this month, just as there are many friends, fellow writers and coworkers that did NOT buy a copy in October.  Nonetheless, for Immortal to make that leap it’s going to have to find its way into the hands of people that found out about it from other people, or read a review, or found it on Goodreads, or saw the press release, or discovered it some other way entirely.

This will take some time.  At least, that’s what I keep telling myself when I pathologically refresh the Amazon page to see what the sales ranking is.

How can you help?

You can pull me away from Amazon and remind me I have to finish editing Hellenic Immortal.

Also, if you have read Immortal by now– and you liked it (which I’m not assuming)– tell people about it.  Like, until you become annoying.  Here’s an example:

Christmas is coming!  Wouldn’t Immortal make a good gift?  Of course it would!  Buy ten copies!

See?  That was obnoxious, but it got the point out.

Amazon and Goodreads reviews

Also, Amazon and Goodreads reviews are an easy way to help.  Both allow customers/users to post reviews of any length and a ratings system.  The more reviews, the more likely it is to help someone coming to the page for the first time.

And you can say anything you want.  Just maybe don’t say I told you to do it.  That might look bad.

And now I’m off to check the sales ranking again.  There should be a rehab program for this.

On the notion of the Mary Sue and the ubiquity of fan fiction

I’m a fairly non-social writer, by which I mean when I’m working on something I’m alone with it until I’m reasonably certain it’s truly and actually done.  I have not historically taken advantage of writing groups or posted partials for comment, or really shown anything to anybody when I knew it still needed work.  When I want to put up something for immediate public consumption it’s usually in the form of a blog (see: this page) or a social network posting on Twitter and Facebook.

All of which is to say I don’t spend any time on sites that are designed for community writing, such as fan fiction sites.

(Aside: Fan fiction, if you really don’t know, is “non-canon” writing of stories spun off of the work of an established creation, such as Star Trek or Twilight or… well, anything.  It is written without permission from the original creators– usually– and is designed solely for the consumption of other fans, rather than profit or fame outside of the fanfic site itself.  I am still formulating my opinion on fan fiction, but my preliminary findings are it is an enormous waste of time.)

Because of my lack of experience with fanfic it took until this summer for me to encounter one of its more interesting notions: the Mary Sue.

The what?

A Mary Sue is a character that is an idealization of the author.  She (or he, although nobody has apparently come to full agreement on what the male version’s name should be) is always prettier/smarter/better than all of the other characters.  Essentially, Mary Sue is the naked fantasy realization of the author’s desire to directly enter the fictive world she/he is writing about.

The term can also be applied to fiction that is not fanfic, where a writer might create a main character who is everything he or she wants to be and do.  (This is the context in which I first encountered the Mary Sue, in an article by Laura Miller on Salon.com.)

And now maybe you can see where I’m going with this.

Is Adam a Mary Sue?

Short answer: no.  Probably.

I spent a lot of time telling people who were reading Immortal who also knew me that Adam is a decidedly different person than I am, and for people who didn’t know me this wasn’t a problem.  But the ones that knew me, well…

“I couldn’t get your voice out of my head until page 15o or so,” said one coworker who read the ARC.  In some ways this makes a lot of sense because the book is written in first person, and he knows me personally, sees my emails and so on.  On the other hand, Adam is a fully realized fictional character I pretend to be while writing him.  His decisions are his own, and many of them surprised me when he was making them.  So his voice may be similar to mine, but he isn’t me.  (My answer to the coworker: I created Adam six years ago, he’s known me for three.  I’ve been quoting Adam all this time.)

But is Adam an idealized version of me?

And is he an asshole?

The question was on my mind when I read a new review (SPOILER ALERT) written by friend @annikawoods the other day.  It’s an interesting review because:

A: she said she couldn’t put it down

B: she gave it five stars

C: she thought Adam was an asshole.

This is in no way a bad thing, because really, if one can create a character a reader both dislikes and can’t stop reading about, one has done one’s job well.  And Adam is often described as “untrustworthy” and an “anti-hero” which are both shorthand versions of “he’s a bit of an asshole.”

But now the Mary Sue question seems even more complicated.  If Adam is a Mary Sue that would mean that:

A: I am an asshole

B: in Adam I am aspiring to be an even bigger asshole.

Now, while I am clearly biased, I don’t think I’m an asshole.  My wife, who is also biased, doesn’t think Adam is “me” and agrees with Annika that Adam IS an asshole.

In the beginning

I’ve told the story before about how I started writing Immortal, but it’s worth repeating: I didn’t have much of a notion of the plot, I just wanted to write from the perspective of an immortal character and see what happened.  And in that sense I think Adam did begin his life as a Mary Sue.  But while we might share a sense of humor, I think he grew into a distinctly different person as I wrote.

That’s my take on it, at least.

On that note

And now I’m off to prepare for the launch party, which is tonight!  Hope to see you there.

I’m looking for someone to blame

Readers, I don’t get sick very often.  I try to maintain a decent diet, I bike to work nine months out of the year, and… okay, I also smoke 4-6 cigarettes a day, but only the additive-free kind!  (Yes, in Cambridge we even go green with our bad habits.)

The last time I recall being sick was at the end of December last year, when I decided to bike to work in -2 degrees.  (That’s with wind chill.  It was a nice positive single digit number without.)  I had bundled myself up very well, but it was so cold I felt the wind through my helmet.  Yes, I got a head cold because my head actually got too cold.

Yet today it is sixty degrees out and I have a raging cold/flu/death virus of some kind, and I don’t know why.  It could have to do with the fact that it poured four days out of five last week and I biked each of those days.  But it’s been rainy all summer.  We did walk about seven miles on Saturday, the day before I woke up discovering I was unwell.  But we walk a lot, albeit perhaps not as much as we want to.

So I don’t know what’s going on here.  I do know that tomorrow’s bike commute is going to be a real bitch.

In other news

The walk yesterday was to suss out the distance and ease by which wife Deb could walk to/from her new place of employment.  It’s 2.8 miles on foot, which can be accomplished at a brisk pace in about 55 minutes.  And the walk takes us from our home to the rough halfway point of Harvard Square, and out the other side of the Square to Memorial Drive.  It’s a nice walk.

We had the distinct pleasure of watching The Social Network in the theater in Harvard Square last week, which was a uniquely strange experience, as we were sitting roughly 1/4 mile from where every scene from the first half of the film took place.  It was actually distracting because all of it was filmed on location and so I spent a LOT of time trying to remember where I’d seen this or that stairway, storefront and so on before.

In one scene in the movie the Mark Zuckerberg character is brought into the “bike room” of a “final club” (Harvard’s version of a frat).  The scene begins outside, and I was nearly positive I knew the exact door they used on Mass Ave.

Our walking path took us past that door on Saturday.  And I was literally moments away from turning to Deb and saying, “hey does this door look familiar?” when that door opened up and out came a half dozen college students in sports jackets and neckties and crisp white shirts.

Surreal is seeing real life in a film.  Doubly surreal when that film spills out into real life right in front of you.

Immortal news

This morning Immortal is showing up on Amazon with the following legend: “Only two left in stock– order soon (more on the way)”.  Given how infrequently Amazon actually updates their listings (the updates become more frequent the higher the book rises in sales figures) there is no way of knowing how accurate this statement is.

However, two things can be considered true:

1: they have finally checked in the first shipment of books and are shipping out copies to the first round of buyers;

2: more books ARE on the way, as another shipment is going today.

It may be a month or more before Amazon and my publisher reach a happy medium where there are enough in stock regularly to satisfy demand.  In the meantime, I don’t much mind declaring the book “sold out”, because it IS.

Let’s keep this ball rolling, then.  Get your copy here.

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