Humor
The more things change
Never assume the French make sense In World War II, prior to the Normandy invasion, the Allies sent planes with cameras over France to take photos of the countryside. This was important and dangerous intelligence-gathering which provided invaluable information to the Generals planning the attack, but it had a few drawbacks. The Normandy countryside is…
Read MoreThe Better to See You With
The eyes having it I spend five days a week looking at a large computer screen, and when I’m not looking at that large computer screen I’m looking at a smaller laptop screen, and when I’m not looking at that I’m looking at an iPhone screen. Or reading, which is thankfully still a low-tech book…
Read MoreOptions
You wake up in the middle of the night with a heavy weight on your chest. You can’t breathe or move. You feel a presence in the room, studying you. You want to touch it, or move it, but your arms are pinned. You can feel its hot breath on your cheeks. Option 1: You…
Read MoreIf I had my way
It’s “hopeless wish list” day If I had my way… Being the smartest person in the room wouldn’t be a political liability. I would be able to convince some high school graduating class, somewhere, to make “Woo Hoo” by The 5,6,7,8’s their graduation song. Imagine a hundred teenagers bouncing up and down, going “Woo hoo,…
Read MoreThe strangest dream
Bees for dinner I hardly ever have active, memorable dreams and when I do it usually means I have to start writing again to quiet the noise in my head. Last night I distinctly recall going to the refrigerator in a strange house somewhere, looking for something to eat. What I found was two bees.…
Read MoreThe longest title you'll ever own
The OTHER Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook: A Parody (Anniversary Edition) The big news first: you can now buy a brand-new Anniversary Edition of the funniest book since the invention of hyperbole: The OTHER Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook. The new edition is in e-book only, for a perfectly modest sum of $4.99. Why don’t…
Read MoreWorking it out
We keep it in the basement We have an unfinished basement in our house that is decidedly awesome because, A: it is utterly dry, all the time, B: it is easily the largest single space in our home, C: it has no heat, finished flooring walls or ceiling, so the city’s property taxes ignore it.…
Read MoreParis bucket list
If you can’t give bad advice, what’s the point of giving any advice at all? Daughter Becky has a friend who is on her way to Paris for a semester abroad. On Facebook, she was tasked with drafting a “bucket list” of things her friend had to do while she was there. Perhaps foolishly, she…
Read MoreAssociated Content Review–IMMORTAL
Associated Content A new review posted this afternoon for Immortal… Immortal is a Sci-Fi/Fantasy adventure with a sense of humor. I was drawn into the story immediately by the author’s sense of historical irony, the moral yet flawed main character, and the fact that anything – literally – could happen next… (Full review here) —Mary…
Read MoreAn imaginary conversation with the Angry Cyclist
A scene from the road, in my head ANGRY CYCLIST: Hey, shithead, use a turn signal! SHITHEAD WHO CAN’T USE A TURN SIGNAL: What? Why? AC: Because I nearly crashed into you. When you don’t use a turn signal the guy behind you, believe it or not, thinks you’re not turning. And when that guy…
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