Amazon


Outrage

You have, I am sure, heard at least a portion of the story: Amazon.com allowed an e-book that instructed pedophiles on how to be better pedophiles (I’m guessing) to go on sale through their vast retail empire.  When the book was discovered– and I’m sort of interested in figuring out what search parameters led to it– the Internet, and specifically Twitter, lost its collective mind.

Amazon defended the decision.  The outrage got more pronounced.  A boycott was declared.  Amazon pulled the book.  The crowd went wild.  End of story.

And I should probably let it go there.  Except I can’t; I think Amazon was right.

Take a step back

I think it’s inarguable that a pro-pedophilia book should be condemned as an evil and immoral thing, and I have no problem with declaring it to be so loudly and frequently.  What I do have a problem with is blaming Amazon for it.

It’s true that the company vets everything it sells beforehand, but the vetting is for defense against litigation, i.e., improper use.  For instance, if someone decided to publish one of my books without my permission, that would be improper use, and Amazon could get sued for it.  They aren’t making moral choices; they’re making legal ones.

But, the crowd shouted, they should be.

Please take a step back and think about that for a minute.  ”I would like the world’s largest online retailer to make decisions of morality for me.”  That is what you, large shouting crowd, just said.  And it’s an easy thing to say when the book in question is about molesting children.  What happens when it isn’t?  This would be a very different argument if Amazon decided not to publish Lolita, a novel widely acknowledged as one of the best English language books of the twentieth century, but one which happens to be about a pedophile.

Now, I’m not equating the pedophile guide with Nabokov.  I’m saying if you demand that a company make moral judgment calls, you can’t guarantee you’re going to agree with their decisions.

Common sense

Ah, the crowd counters: but this was a simple common-sense decision.

Beware, please.  Common sense is subjective.  I grant that you will be hard-pressed to find someone who thinks a pedophile guide is acceptable.  But there are a large number of people in this country who would agree with this statement: “of course man didn’t descend from an ape; it’s only common sense.”

Asking anyone– a large company or a person– to make common-sense decisions is no less dangerous than asking them to make a moral decision.

Not enough outrage to go around

The pedophile guide might not even be the most evil thing to be offered for sale by Amazon.  Go ahead and look up the Protocols of the Elders of Zion.  This is a hoax that is supposed to be the minutes of a meeting between a secret Jewish cabal planning on taking over the world by starting wars, crashing economies, and so on.  It’s nearly a century old, and was definitively debunked at least eighty years ago. Despite that, it was a primary source for Hitler and a key justification for the Holocaust, meaning this little book was indirectly responsible for the deaths of millions.  And it’s still taken seriously today by many people (especially in certain Middle Eastern countries) as justification for continued violence against Jews.  It is probably the most evil and dangerous thing ever published.  And it is on sale at Amazon right now.  So are the books inspired by it, including Hitler’s Mein Kampf and Henry Ford‘s The International Jew.

If you want to be angry, vast hive mind, be angry that THIS book is on sale at Amazon.  But while you’re at it, be just as angry at the 22 other online retailers also selling it.

This is not to say I am happy with Amazon

Right now I would love nothing more than to be able to say “Immortal is now on sale at major online retailer X instead of Amazon”.  The percentage they keep from books sold by way of their Advantage Program is criminal, they are not at all kind to smaller publishers in general, and their customer service is horrifically bad.  I don’t like them, in other words, and would rather not deal with them, much less defend them.

But, and this is an important point: they are currently the only place to buy Immortal.  And when the Kindle version comes out that will be doubly so.  This is true because right now, they’re just about the only game in town.  And there are hundreds of thousands of writers out there in the exact same position.

Boycotting Amazon because they chose not to take a moral stance in circumstances in which they should not have been expected to doesn’t hurt them nearly as much as it hurts someone like me.  And all I’m trying to do is sell a harmless fantasy/sci-fi/adventure book through an online retailer.

My point: if you find a book for sale there that you don’t like, punish the author and the retailer by not buying the book.  That’s how commerce works.

Death of the “local” customer

As I have discussed before, the e-book revolution sort of took me by surprise.  I still like paper books, but I’m coming to realize that every day I cling to them is another day for me to look like a guy on horseback on a freeway.

And I’m still trying to get a grip on who the demographic is for Immortal. So far I’ve settled on: people who read sci-fi, fantasy, urban fantasy, historical fiction, or any combination thereof; people who like vampires; dudes.  I am now adding “People who do all of their reading on the Kindle” to the list.

Then there are the international buyers.  Since I’ve done nearly all of my promoting online– on Twitter and Facebook and Goodreads, mainly– it’s only reasonable to expect that some of the people I interest in the novel are going to be people outside of the United States.

So it would have been awesome if I had expected it.

Poll

What would be great is if I could go to the Powers That Be with numbers, rather than anecdotes.  I would also be deeply curious to see how embedded the Kindle has become to the reading world, and whether I really am a horseman on a highway.  Plus, I found this really cool poll option in my WordPress toolbar, and I couldn’t resist trying it out.

[Note: I know not everyone will be buying the book, and I'm okay with that.  Should you be struck with the urge to vote "Other" and fill in the box with some variant of "You Suck"... I understand.  I was young once too.]

The month in summary

It has been quite a good month for Immortal, the little novel that could, but only after six years of couldn’t.  On penalty of death, I can’t mention specific sales numbers, but if you count both the books bought through Amazon and from my personal supply… well, we did okay.

And now we’re in the dead zone.

The dead zone

I was expecting this.  Once the friends, family, acquaintances, launch party attendees, fellow writers and coworkers all got their copies, sales would have to rely on the terrifying Everyone Else.  People, in other words, that I don’t know, have never spoken to, and don’t know me.  Some of the Everyone Else certainly DID buy a copy this month, just as there are many friends, fellow writers and coworkers that did NOT buy a copy in October.  Nonetheless, for Immortal to make that leap it’s going to have to find its way into the hands of people that found out about it from other people, or read a review, or found it on Goodreads, or saw the press release, or discovered it some other way entirely.

This will take some time.  At least, that’s what I keep telling myself when I pathologically refresh the Amazon page to see what the sales ranking is.

How can you help?

You can pull me away from Amazon and remind me I have to finish editing Hellenic Immortal.

Also, if you have read Immortal by now– and you liked it (which I’m not assuming)– tell people about it.  Like, until you become annoying.  Here’s an example:

Christmas is coming!  Wouldn’t Immortal make a good gift?  Of course it would!  Buy ten copies!

See?  That was obnoxious, but it got the point out.

Amazon and Goodreads reviews

Also, Amazon and Goodreads reviews are an easy way to help.  Both allow customers/users to post reviews of any length and a ratings system.  The more reviews, the more likely it is to help someone coming to the page for the first time.

And you can say anything you want.  Just maybe don’t say I told you to do it.  That might look bad.

And now I’m off to check the sales ranking again.  There should be a rehab program for this.

Immortal press release

I’d like to say I finally got around to writing and releasing a press release for Immortal, but the truth is, between freaking out about the launch party (tomorrow) and getting sick with some manner of death flu, it never crossed my mind.  Fortunately, the Twitter community is paying attention, and in many cases very generous with their collective time.  The link below is to a press release that went out today, written by @mattdelman (do follow him).

IMMORTAL PRESS RELEASE

I’m looking for someone to blame

Readers, I don’t get sick very often.  I try to maintain a decent diet, I bike to work nine months out of the year, and… okay, I also smoke 4-6 cigarettes a day, but only the additive-free kind!  (Yes, in Cambridge we even go green with our bad habits.)

The last time I recall being sick was at the end of December last year, when I decided to bike to work in -2 degrees.  (That’s with wind chill.  It was a nice positive single digit number without.)  I had bundled myself up very well, but it was so cold I felt the wind through my helmet.  Yes, I got a head cold because my head actually got too cold.

Yet today it is sixty degrees out and I have a raging cold/flu/death virus of some kind, and I don’t know why.  It could have to do with the fact that it poured four days out of five last week and I biked each of those days.  But it’s been rainy all summer.  We did walk about seven miles on Saturday, the day before I woke up discovering I was unwell.  But we walk a lot, albeit perhaps not as much as we want to.

So I don’t know what’s going on here.  I do know that tomorrow’s bike commute is going to be a real bitch.

In other news

The walk yesterday was to suss out the distance and ease by which wife Deb could walk to/from her new place of employment.  It’s 2.8 miles on foot, which can be accomplished at a brisk pace in about 55 minutes.  And the walk takes us from our home to the rough halfway point of Harvard Square, and out the other side of the Square to Memorial Drive.  It’s a nice walk.

We had the distinct pleasure of watching The Social Network in the theater in Harvard Square last week, which was a uniquely strange experience, as we were sitting roughly 1/4 mile from where every scene from the first half of the film took place.  It was actually distracting because all of it was filmed on location and so I spent a LOT of time trying to remember where I’d seen this or that stairway, storefront and so on before.

In one scene in the movie the Mark Zuckerberg character is brought into the “bike room” of a “final club” (Harvard’s version of a frat).  The scene begins outside, and I was nearly positive I knew the exact door they used on Mass Ave.

Our walking path took us past that door on Saturday.  And I was literally moments away from turning to Deb and saying, “hey does this door look familiar?” when that door opened up and out came a half dozen college students in sports jackets and neckties and crisp white shirts.

Surreal is seeing real life in a film.  Doubly surreal when that film spills out into real life right in front of you.

Immortal news

This morning Immortal is showing up on Amazon with the following legend: “Only two left in stock– order soon (more on the way)”.  Given how infrequently Amazon actually updates their listings (the updates become more frequent the higher the book rises in sales figures) there is no way of knowing how accurate this statement is.

However, two things can be considered true:

1: they have finally checked in the first shipment of books and are shipping out copies to the first round of buyers;

2: more books ARE on the way, as another shipment is going today.

It may be a month or more before Amazon and my publisher reach a happy medium where there are enough in stock regularly to satisfy demand.  In the meantime, I don’t much mind declaring the book “sold out”, because it IS.

Let’s keep this ball rolling, then.  Get your copy here.

[Note: This article was originally posted as a guest blog at Indiependent Books.  See it here. Comments welcome.]

Anomaly

I’d like to talk today about genres, but before I do that let me begin with one large caveat: I am very good at doing things the wrong way and getting away with it.  For example, I conceived of, wrote, and published a novel in a genre I barely read.  (The novel is Immortal which you can buy here.)*  One should not attempt to write a genre-busting novel without knowing the genre one is busting, or so I’m told.  I’m not saying this to brag; I’m saying this so at the very least you understand that I am an exception to the rule, and I may not know what I’m talking about.

Writer chat Groundhog Day

It’s very possible you don’t spend a lot of time hanging around writers, so let me explain that I’ve never met one that likes the idea of genres.  Put simply, being told one’s work fits only within a narrow sub-sub-category is a bit demeaning, because to us our work is “more than just” whatever you want to call it.  And that’s true: your literary fiction might also be funny, and my humor book might also have fantasy in it, and her fantasy might be surprisingly highbrow.

Despite this, genre classification– however reductive– isn’t going away any time soon (for solid reasons I’ll explain below), and is important enough to warrant at least one argument a day in a writer’s chat somewhere online.  One’s probably happening right now.

I have participated in a fair number of these discussions myself, and have seen the same basic arguments presented many times over.  Here are the two polar camps, with allowances for gray areas between them:

  1. Before writing anything for a specific genre, a writer needs to read that genre, keep up with current trends, be aware of standard story structure, common tropes, and what’s already been done.  After all, you can’t well write something original without knowing what constitutes “original.”
  2. Genres are evil and creatively restrictive, and should have nothing to do with creativity as a process in and of itself.  We should do away with them entirely.

I don’t think either of these are entirely correct.

Commerce versus creativitynot a Volvo

It might help to back up and understand what genres are for:

  1. they help sell books
  2. see #1

The only purpose of genre classification is to help group a novel into the proper approximate category so that people who like that category can find it and buy it.  This neither a good nor a bad thing, it is simply a fact.  And it’s how everything is sold, not just novels.  One does not buy yogurt in the cereal aisle, or tractor trailers from the Volvo dealer.  We sort, and not just because it’s human nature to do so but because it makes the most sense economically.  And when you’re selling something, economic sense is the only kind that matters.

So we can’t do away with them.  If someone tried, they would be run out of business by everyone who didn’t, because people like being told where to go to buy what they are looking for with minimum fuss.  And if you are now running off a list of  ”genre” books that were runaway successes, or just the proverbial “I don’t ever read this genre but I liked ___” book you read once understand that:

  1. all books begin with a core audience of genre readers; if they have a wide enough appeal they grow out of their core group, but that’s where they started.
  2. if you simply read “good books” regardless of the genre, you’re still using a selection method to find books you like, just not the genre classification most people are using.  Pat yourself on the back, but don’t assume most people are using your approach– whatever it may be– to find their reading material.

Not what but when

The real question a writer needs to ask is not what, but when.  Your book is going to be identified with a genre eventually, whether you like that or not, but when do you care what that genre is?

My personal opinion is that genre is a function of commerce, while writing is an act of creativity, and you will be better off if you can keep those things separate.  (Please redirect your attention to the caveat I began with and measure your grains of salt appropriately.)  Don’t worry about studying a specific genre, tracking cliches or tropes or researching what publishers are buying, or what’s popular, or whatever.  It’s already hard enough just writing a novel, for goodness sake.

My point is, just write something you would want to read.  It doesn’t need to be any more complicated than that.

*   *   *

*I’m still not entirely certain as to exactly what that genre is, even now.  When I first wrote it I asked Christopher Moore, author of the only books even remotely like mine (that I had read) what to call it.  He said, “nobody knows; just go with contemporary fantasy.” But “fantasy” implies magic and the book doesn’t  have any.  But it does have vampires, and those fit in that category.  They also fit in “urban fantasy”, another genre I’m told I should be identifying my novel with.  Still, there’s that word: fantasy.  (Plus urban fantasy tends to have a lot more in common with romance novels than with anything Tolkein might have envisioned.)  Sci-fi is out because of the aforementioned vampires (plus demons, pixies, and so on) despite the absence of magic.  What does that leave?  Speculative fiction?

Losing my mind

I’m going to go ahead and conclude that I am not wired properly to handle a gradual book roll-out.

A week ago I was completely convinced Immortal wasn’t going to debut as scheduled, which is a terrifying thought for someone who’s already gone through that once.  Now I’m completely preoccupied with the idea that nobody’s buying the book.

I mean, I’m sure that people are buying it.  Or if they aren’t, they’re going to soon.  But since Amazon is deliberately opaque about how many orders have actually been made or how many people have just added it to their wish list or put it in their carts without hitting “buy”, and since they only order more copies every 7-10 days, I have plenty of things about which to ulcerate myself.

All of which is stupid

And it’s stupid, and I know it’s stupid, because right now what I’m really waiting on is for people to read the book, not buy it.  I concede that it has to be bought in order to be read (generally) but still.  Given the nature of things– a genre-bending first-time novel published by a new company with promotion consisting entirely of what I could drum up in a month or two– we’re going to need a great deal of word-of-mouth to truly succeed.  And word-of-mouth doesn’t really work until people read the book.

Which, again, means Amazon has to ship the books.

If they have any buyers.

And here we are again.

Then there’s the party

My backup “thing about which I shall freak” is the party, which will be a source of concern for me until at least 30 people accept the invite.  Mind you, it’s already halfway to that number, the event isn’t for another seventeen days, and 3/4 of the people who got the invitation on Facebook haven’t even responded yet.  Doesn’t matter; I’m still freaking out.

Unrelated amusing story

Dramatis personae: Me; son Tim; Tim’s college roommate Pat; Tim’s girlfriend Mariah.

Scene: My car, driving Tim back to campus after he has spent the day working a register at his part time job.  Mariah, having been off campus for the past two days, is expected to be back at the dorm waiting for Tim.

Tim: It’s so great knowing I’m going back home (i.e. the dorm) to a back rub tonight.

Me: What, Pat doesn’t give good back rubs?

Tim: No he doesn’t.  And the sex is terrible.

Curtain

Launch party for Immortal at Splash Ultra Lounge

In the interest of getting the important stuff out of the way first, there will be a party to celebrate the official release of Immortal (did you get your copy yet? Order it here) on October 22 at 7 PM at Splash Ultra Lounge.  Splash is at 150 Kneeland Street in Boston’s Leather District, not far from South Station.

Other details: no cover charge; food will be served; cash bar; 21+ only.

All are welcome!  The only thing I ask is that you RSVP so I can get a decent head-count beforehand.  The best way to do that is to follow THIS LINK to the Facebook event page.  The second best way is to email me at genedoucette@me.com and let me know you’re coming.

Funny story

If you’d asked me two weeks ago– and you may have– if I was going to have a release party, I would’ve said no, because I don’t have any kind of budget for it right now.  And this is still true.

But you may recall a while back my blogging about visiting networking events in order to both promote the upcoming release and to improve my overall networking skills.  One of these events was held by the Boston Networking Club, something wife Deb found out about via LinkedIn.  That event was held at Splash, and as it happens they had a jar near the entrance for business cards.  I put mine in there, not even knowing what the prize would be were my card to be drawn.

So last week, as I was sweating out the final days before Immortal‘s release (in which I became convinced– not without reason– that the release would simply not happen on schedule and months of promotion was about to go right down the toilet) I got a call informing me I had won a free party at Splash for myself and “twenty friends.”

This was simply impossible, of course.  The only time I had ever won anything before was when someone was trying to sell me a time-share.  And given my historically bad luck leading up to this point– I half-expect to get hit by a car soon just to balance out the scales– it was ridiculous to think that at the very moment in my life when I absolutely needed to throw a party, a complimentary hosted, catered event would drop out of the sky and land in my lap.

So I was thinking the flaw was in that “twenty friends” part of the deal.  Surely the cost per person above twenty was the land mine I was expecting.

But no.  The answer was there is no additional cost.  They just need to know the total number of people expected so they can plan accordingly.

I know; I can’t believe this either.

Incidentally

If you’re coming– and you are, dammit– you should know that the way Splash makes their money at these things is at the bar.  Seriously pricey drinks.

Amazon comes through

Against all conceivable odds, Amazon has successfully listed Immortal in time for its official release date, meaning it is available for ordering RIGHT NOW! Follow the link below to order your copy!

IMMORTAL on Amazon

Some details

The listing is imperfect, and because this is Amazon, changes are going to take a little while to appear.  For example, if you search for me by name you will see the book listing appears to include the editor and the cover artist as co-authors.  This will be fixed soon.  Likewise, none of the blurbs or back cover details made it into the listing.  Those will show up in a few days.

And of course “This book is temporarily out of stock” is a message we might see there for a little while, as Amazon has to formally order copies from the publisher, something they have not yet done.

However– and this is important– Amazon will be able to gauge how many books they need to keep on-hand by the volume of the early interest.

So go order ten copies.

Publishing is F-U-N!

I held off on formally announcing this for as long as I could, but it looks as if there is going to be a delay in availability for Immortal.  How big?  Five or six days.

Not big, in other words.  But since I’ve been touting the very entertaining 10-1-10 release date for two months now, I think (hope) there are a fair number of people out there who have the date circled on their calendars.

And I can’t give a precise new date– which actually might still be tomorrow– because we are currently waiting for people with no phone numbers to complete a task that should be fully automated.

Wait, what happened?

All right, here’s how this ended up playing out.

First, the publisher signed up for a program called Amazon Fulfillment.  You will recall a lengthy blog post not so long ago describing what this does and does not look like and will and will not do.  While the interface for this program was wholly inadequate for a corporate book publisher (but not bad for a self-publisher) it did have one distinct advantage: once one completed the listing of a book, it appeared on the site immediately.

The disadvantages, though, were serious, and became more apparent every day that the first book produced by Hamel Integrity Publishing remained in the Fulfillment program.

So steps were taken to switch Immortal over to the Amazon Advantage program.

One of those steps happened to be first removing it from the Fulfillment program, which is why it is not currently on Amazon in any form.

Hit a button and… nothing happens!

My publisher spent roughly two days performing the following:

1: entering Immortal into Amazon through the Advantage site interface;

2: obtaining notification that the entry had been accepted;

3: discovering no evidence of the book in the Advantage site or on the Amazon website;

4: repeating the above steps.

This was unexpected, because as I said, the Fulfillment program’s interface lists products immediately.  We saw no reason for Advantage to work differently.  We still don’t.

Three to five business days

The explanation was found in the dense FAQ for the program: expect new listings to take 3-5 days to post on the Amazon website.

As we submitted the book on September 29th, this meant we could only expect the book to be available on October 1st under absolutely optimal conditions.  Failing that, October 4th or 5th, after which we can start screaming at Amazon that something’s wrong.

Or rather, we can try to find someone to scream at.  Another truly entertaining difference between Advantage and Fulfillment is that you can’t reach anyone in the Advantage program by telephone.  At all.  I managed to dig out a customer service number last night by googling around for a half an hour or so, and spoke to a very friendly man from Chennai who informed me that he had no way to reach anyone in Advantage whatsoever: they had no numbers listed or names in the directory.  Amazon Advantage is apparently located in the mines of Moria.

The only way to reach a “person” (who is likely either a dwarf or a rogue cave troll) involved in the Advantage program is to send an email, and then wait 24 hours for them to respond with something unhelpful.

In this case, the response was actually semi-helpful.  YES, they could confirm the book had been accepted into the system on 9/29 (which was good, as there was no evidence of this other than the ephemeral “your entry has been accepted” popup), but NO there is no way to expedite availability.

For now

I have re-listed the publication date as 10-5-10.  Hopefully if the middle number needs to be changed again it’s for a lower figure and not a higher one.

In the meantime, think happy thoughts about Immortal, which will be delivered from the printer’s today, and will still be in your hands soon enough.  It’s taken six years to get to this point.  Another few days isn’t all that bad.

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