Today’s blog

Today’s blog will be taken over by Adam the Immortal, who would like to explain what he is, and more importantly, what he is not…

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Immortal excerpt: in which Adam explains himself

A couple of things about being immortal:

First of all, I’m not a vampire.  I get that a lot, even during the day when I should be in a coffin or a crypt or something.  (Very few vampires bother to sleep in a coffin, if you must know.  Lugging one around everywhere you go is inconvenient, and it almost always attracts the wrong kind of attention.  I did know a vampire who had one, but it was mostly a kinky sex thing for her.)

I think I know this guy

I’m not invincible.  Also: no super-strength, X-ray vision, power of flight or any of that.  I eat, drink, sleep and shit just like everyone else.  I just stopped getting any older at around age thirty-two.  Why thirty-two?  No idea.  I have all my hair in all the proper places, and a relatively slight build that doesn’t seem to get any larger whether I lift weights or binge.  To put it in a way a twenty-first century person might understand, it’s like someone hit pause on my existence.

I’m pretty sure I can be killed.  I can certainly be hurt, and have on several occasions been very close to death due to one near-mortal wound or another.  If I wanted to—I think—I could take my own life, although obviously this hasn’t been tested.  Now maybe you’re not the type who ever considered suicide, but—and you’ll just have to trust me on this—when you live this long, it comes up.  I was suicidal for two solid centuries once.  That was during the early part of what they now call the Dark Ages, in medieval Europe.  Suicidal tendencies were de rigueur at the time, and I’m nothing if not trendy.

I don’t know how old I am.  My earliest memory is something along the lines of “fire good, ice bad” so I think I predate written history, but I don’t know by how much.  I like to brag that I’ve been there “from the beginning” and while this may very well be true, I generally just say it to pick up girls.  But it has been a very long time, and considering I’m not invincible or super-strong, that’s nothing short of miraculous.

Beeeeeeeeer

Oh, I do have one other thing going for me.  I can’t get sick.  Universal immunity.  That’s a fairly big plus.  Not as much a big deal now as it was back when the average life span was in the low thirties and we measured the seasons by what plague was in vogue at the time but still, it’s the gift that keeps on giving.

I’m currently white-skinned, but I wasn’t always.  I pretty much blend in with whatever culture I’m hanging out in, which is a very useful trait when you think about it.  Of course I never fit in anywhere for the long haul, not after people around me all start getting old while I don’t.  So I move around a lot.  You know, before locals start getting out the pitchforks and torches and what-have-you.

I try to keep up with the rapid advancement of modern culture, something I liken to sprinting in wet sand.  I owe a lot of what I understand about the world today to television and movies, which are a true godsend to a guy in my situation.  Likewise, I keep up with language pretty well, that being a survival skill I took to heart just around the time language was first invented.

I’ve been rich a couple of times.  I still am, I think; I just don’t live the life.  That whole material wealth thing got old fast.  I mean, creature comforts are nice, but immortality does funny things to the whole making-something-of-yourself imperative that people who expect to die someday go through.  I hang onto enough money to get by because it’s the easiest way to acquire alcohol, which I’m much in favor of.

Speaking of which, if you want to know what I’ve learned in my extended time on Earth it is this: beer is good.

I’ve never been much of a deep thinker.

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Immortal is scheduled to debut on 10/1/10 from Hamel Integrity Publishing.  More information, including a sample chapter, can be found here.

Follow Adam on Twitter at @Adamtheimmortal

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No Comments

  1. Danielle on July 20, 2010 at 11:19 am

    This is fantastic. Can’t wait to see more.

  2. Heather on July 20, 2010 at 3:31 pm

    Your tweet intrigued me, so I came to read and am very glad I did! This is great! I love the character and am really interested in the stories he could tell. Would love to read more. Thanks!

    • genedoucette on July 20, 2010 at 3:38 pm

      Thanks! This must mean I have finally stumbled upon the right wording to interest people in the excerpt… 🙂

  3. Ben Langhinrichs on July 20, 2010 at 3:39 pm

    This does sound like fun. Looking forward to it.

  4. Christopher Dorda on July 20, 2010 at 3:48 pm

    Hi! Nice read!

    Here are my suggestions and observations (BTW, thank you for letting me read you work):

    Without a context, I find it weird that he’s narrating this. If he’s writing a diary, why didn’t he write the ‘about-me’ section earlier on in his life if he’s so old?

    I’ve always been a fan of ‘Immortal’ stories, but I always feel uncomfortable when Immortals ‘volunteer’ information about themselves. I like seeing it in dialogue, when they’re forced, or tricked, to say it because of some extenuating circumstance…

    Ex:

    Turning the corner of the alley the pretty girls asks me, “How old are you, anyway?”

    I smile as I kiss her neck, pushing her into the brick wall, “I have no idea, but the first think I remember learning is ‘fire hot.”

    She whispers in my ear as I savour the ever so familiar odour of Coco-Channel, “That’s not so special, Adam, that’s the fist think I remember learning as well!”

    I laugh merrily and pull back. Looking her in the eyes, I make my meaning clear, “Yeah, but my daddy invented fire.”

    But all in all, nice work. We all have our styles, and I guess that’s what these excellent #teasertuesday thing is all about after all, teasers and discovering other styles, I can’t wait to see what you’ll do with the story!

    Write On!

    Chris

    PS: Keep in mind this is my first #teasertuesday… 🙂

    • genedoucette on July 20, 2010 at 4:25 pm

      Chris–

      Thanks for the comments! I… ah… don’t know how to say this exactly, but the book is really, really, done, as in “this is an excerpt from a book that’s going to be published in two months” done…

      • Christopher Dorda on July 20, 2010 at 4:55 pm

        Well, then… Excellent! Can’t wait to read the whole entire thing in context then! Congrats! Keep me posted on Twitter, ok? (@Quantamancer)

  5. Madison Woods on July 20, 2010 at 4:48 pm

    I am glad to finally hear from Adam, lol. My mc quit aging in her 30’s too, but she’s only a few hundred years old. Enjoyed hearing his take on vampires!

    • Christopher Dorda on July 20, 2010 at 5:08 pm

      Yeah, me too… It was reminiscent of one of the final season 5 episodes of Angel… With this character called ‘The Immortal’…

      Which reminds me, Gene, have you seen the movie ‘The Man From Earth’?

      Great movie! Love ‘Immortal Man’ stories!

  6. genedoucette on July 20, 2010 at 5:52 pm

    Chris, do you mean The Man Who Fell To Earth, with Bowie? Very cool film…

    As to Angel, I actually wrote Immortal before season five. I cannot tell you how much The Immortal made me squirm. “Please, Joss,” I begged, “please don’t make a show based on the Immortal…”

    • Christopher Dorda on July 20, 2010 at 6:29 pm

      Nope. I mean ‘The Man From Earth’. (Oh, and that Bowie film was great too) Lol! This is the trailer: http://bit.ly/x2Hha

    • Christopher Dorda on July 20, 2010 at 6:41 pm

      Oh, oh, and when V for Vendetta came out, I felt the exact same way!!! “THEY COPIED MY NOVEL!” I screamed in the movie theater as V took to the airwaves! I mean, I almost went into shock! 🙂

      • genedoucette on July 20, 2010 at 8:38 pm

        Hahaha… Except V for Vendetta was from a comic book form the mid-80’s. I still have a copy of the reprint somewhere. Alan Moore. Very awesome.

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