Note: this article originally appeared in the Huffington Post.  Somewhat entertainingly, I submitted it to their Books section and watched it get recategorized into their Comedy section. Welcome back to Bad Advice for Writers! We at BAW were so excited by the reception to our last entry, we could hardly wait to provide you with…

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Note: This article originally appeared at The Huffington Post.  Over the coming months I will be reposting certain pieces here, on my own site, because HuffPo already gets enough traffic.  My apologies if you’ve read this before, unless you didn’t know I wrote it, in which case: I did!  Tell your friends.   Greetings from…

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I decided it was time to start handing out really bad writing advice, and Huffington Post seemed like just the place to do it.  Thus: Introducing Bad Advice for Writers! My first title choice was Bad Advice! For Writers!  I decided that was too exclamation point-y.

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Verbatim Wife Deb likes to leave music playing for the pets during the day.  She uses the Comcast music channels, and tries to mix it up.  This morning she selected Christian Rock, of all things. Over lunch at Bisuteki: Deb: So did you change the channel right away? Me: No, I left it.  I wasn’t…

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Dear area car driver: In the event that you, area car driver, happen to be dropping off a passenger, please execute the following maneuvers: 1: signal and get to the side of the road; 2: leave the turn signal on while you’re stopped. As you can see, these are two steps.  Two very easy steps.…

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You know you’ve been bicycling in the city for a while if… …you know not to take a sharp turn across a manhole cover in the rain …you can’t name most of the streets you travel on but you can describe the light cycle patterns of every intersection in great detail …you’d consider a horror…

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I’m already dressed for the Pride march I have a mental list of things I will never wear when biking, but that list is getting smaller each week.  The problem is that on a long bike ride there are certain things one might not otherwise ever consider.  Like that loose shorts chafe after a while.…

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A new wheel I rode to work yesterday on a new rear wheel.  The old wheel had a problem whereby the tire attached to the wheel kept exploding at inopportune moments, like when I needed it to not explode.  The first time this happened was because the wheel’s rim had worn out.  The second time…

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Committing to foolishness In my continuing effort to see the weight reading on the scale descend consistently, I have committed to a fairly stupid commute by bicycle, a journey of 17.5 miles.  Each way.  Five days a week. I have not yet done five days, but I have done four in a row, and am…

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Birthday wishes “I don’t want everything.  Where would I put it?” —Stephen Wright As today is my birthday, I have decided to be obnoxious, which I admit is not a large step for me but here it goes. Read Immortal That’s what I want from you, on this, the occasion of my forty-third birthday.  I…

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