Open letter to a moron

To the gentleman crossing the street in Jamaica Plain yesterday during a DON’T WALK signal, who nearly got creamed by an SUV legally traversing the intersection, and who then turned to the cyclist that STOPPED two inches into the crosswalk SIX FEET AWAY FROM YOU and declared, “better stop for the red light, buddy,” and then, when it was clear the cyclist did not know he was being spoken to, added loudly, “pedestrians have rights too, you know!”

You, sir, are a moron.

No, I’m sorry, you are not A moron.  You are THE moron.  You are what happens when God looks down upon the Earth and says to Him/Herself, “I have created many, many morons, but I feel that I have not yet created the ne plus ultra, the ultimate moron to which all other morons would be compared.”  And so God reached down and blessed this world with you, THE moron.

A moron might attempt to cross when he does not have the light and nearly get run over by an SUV turning with the light.  A moron might see a bike stop at a red light and decide that this was the moment to berate the bicyclist for running the red light he did not run as if he represented all bikers, everywhere, ever.

But it takes THE moron to combine these two inestimably moronic acts and perform them successively in a matter of seconds without the slightest hesitation or, one presumes, a working brain containing the definitions of hypocrisy and irony.

Thank you for your time.  You may continue with your moronic day.


The Cyclist

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No Comments

  1. mariminiatt on April 21, 2011 at 12:59 pm

    Unfortunately its that type of moron that all the pedestrians and bicyclists hate, because that is the one the drivers remember. So then we all get grouped with them.

    • genedoucette on April 21, 2011 at 1:17 pm

      What kills me is people don’t see one pedestrian do something stupid and think all pedestrians act that way. They don’t see one driver do something stupid and think all drivers act that way. But somehow if they’re on a bike…

  2. SandySays1 on April 21, 2011 at 1:22 pm

    Goodness it sounds like the type moron you humans having been electing to political offices the last 20 years. Too bad the SUV had good brakes.

    • genedoucette on April 21, 2011 at 1:31 pm

      I barely resisted the urge to add “no go home and turn on Fox News like I know you want to.”

      • SandySays1 on April 21, 2011 at 3:05 pm

        So true. The extremes (both side) always have that imbecile tag on them.

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